Kevin Kern: "Velvet Green"

Syrup (1:30 in the morning, when emotions run rampant): "Oh my God...it's so beautiful. I just almost cried because there was a violin."

Hashbrowns: "See how Soundscapes can change from scary to beautiful in a second?"

Syrup: "Oh, I almost cried again because there was a new string instrument!"



And then my friend Bob sent me this, which did not help matters at all.

Such artful use of 5 / 7 / 5.

HB: "I miss Boyfriend J."
Syrup: "Me, too."
HB: If he were here, I'd count all his freckles, just to keep him near.
Syrup: "..."
HB: "Is that a haiku? [counts] No, it's not. [types] But this is!"

Her haiku:

Oh if he were here

I would count all his freckles

To keep him so near

So hot.

HB (to Boyfriend J and Syrup): "You know what would be sexy?"
Syrup/Boyfriend J: "Hmm?"
HB: "If you both role-played two crows fighting over a bead."

To the tune of "The Flintstones."

HB: "Breadstick! Cheesy breadstick! It's the last one and it's mine!"

Misty: "Breadstick! Cheesy breadstick! I don't want it, that's okay, it's fiiine!"

The plot of Deliverance II?

HB: "I'm going to play a twangy guy who hates you."

I don't remember saying this at all.

Syrup: "I'm glad you don't need baking ingredients to cry."

Playing Scrabble.

HB: "There's only one way to spell the word and that's across or down."
Boyfriend J: "....That would be two ways."
HB: "There are many ways I can kill you in your sleep!"

At HB's party, 3 a.m.

Syrup: "The time has come, the Walrus said, to shut the f*** up and go to bed!"

Fighting a fruit fly.

Syrup: "Agh! It's impervious to blowing!...but it HATES clapping."

It was too lusty.

Syrup: "Piiiiiiiiiiiie. Oh! That was a scary pie voice."

I like the way they think.

Syrup: "The first time I ever got drunk, I told everyone I was a backwards raccoon."
Mollyollyoxenfree: "What does that mean?"
HB: "It means she put concealer around her eyes."
M: "That sounds more like a success story than anything."
HB: "It was! The touching story of one woman's choice to rise above her humanity."

Is so!

Syrup: "As attractive as The Boyfriend is, that's how unattractive the H.S.-Ex is right now."
HB: "I don't know. The Boyfriend isn't THAT attractive."
Syrup: [dirty look]

I'm not sure how popular she'll be.

HB: "My stripper name is going to be 'Ubiquitous Turtle.'"

She was totally possessed.

HB: "I only snort because I'm full of buttercups!"

Not a bad business plan, actually.

"HB's Audio Texts: For Those Who Are Sick of That Reading Sh**."

This version of the nursery tune really depresses me.

HB (singing): "Do you know the muffin top? It lives above your pants."

She used to have worms, but now..

HB: "It feels like there are butterflies in my stomach that are in love with each other."