Maybe I'd better stay in the closet, then.

Amy "Apple-Bottom Face": "If someone came out to me now I'd be like, wow, that means you really love penis, like you want it all over you all day. Like if you're a lesbian, you have to want to put your face in a vagina."

Attention deficit moose.

After reading this.

Boyfriend: "So your plan was to taunt the moose, then lie on the ground and play dead? What if it had been a moose with a longer attention span than most moose? You're lucky you got the ADD moose."