I'll give you one guess as to whether alcohol was involved.

Syrup: "This is the night of high fives!*"


*Syrup never gives high fives.

Poor Bruno.

Aaron (while Bruno is speaking): "Don't breathe because if you do, I'm going to add something in there."

Bitch-ness activated.

Kiki: "Don't ever be sick around HB. It activates her bitch-ness."
HB: "You smell like a hospital."

Maybe we are too close.

Kiki: "Get your poon over on Syrup's side. And keep your underwear on!"
HB: "But then my muffin can't breathe!"

Carnie.

HB: "Today Molly purposely shouted "small hands" at me."

Are you sure you're not a Marx brother?

HB: "You threw away my joke cigarette. How will I make jokes?"

The Littlest Princess.

Kiki: "Stop being a baby princess."
HB: "It's not...like...I'm being a baby princess."

Every song sounds like peeing!*

HB and I were in the car, trying to get somewhere, and both really needing to tinkle after drinking a lot of tea. We started fantasizing about how great it would be if women had a mechanism for easy urination, somewhat like the male organ but daintier and capable of retraction.

Syrup: "Like a proboscis...peeboscis!"


*Even listening to music was dangerous.

A cute conversation, according to Kiki.

HB: "How would you feel if someone told you that they didn't like movies?"
Syrup: "Confused. It would be as if they didn't like breathing--"
HB: "Too extreme."
Syrup: "--or snacks."
HB: "Yeah, snacks. I get that."

"Parmesan cheese isn't an animal product, you know."

Syrup: "I can't tell if you seriously think that, or if you're just screwing with me."
HB: "You'll never know."
S: "Well, now I do."

Tortellini.

Syrup: "How did you end up with so much tortellini?"
HB: "I didn't say "when" for a while."

Socks.

HB: "I bought these socks on a day trip to Malaysia that I used to buy socks."
Syrup: "You're the most interesting sock buyer in the world."
HB: "What a boring title."

Hey, you probably shouldn't blow up.

HB (to Father): "Is that your advice to a volcano shirt?"

Mine, on the other hand, are more like two hamsters.

HB: "My boobs are so heavy. They're like two guinea pigs."

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Kurt: "Can you eat the chips if Jessie (the dog) gets hair on them?"
Taite: "Probably not. She's a vegetarian."