Amurrrica.

HB: "Can we please get a filet-o-fish today? It could be my last American filet-o-fish for months."
S: "Oh, your last American filet-o-fish. Ok then."

Who the hell knows what this means?

HB: "I feel wonderfully full of lavender flashing."

We have more arguments about towels than anything else.

Syrup: "How could you not know which towel is mine? It's the one with the smaller tag and the slightly frayed edges!"

I'm sure they thought so, too.

Syrup: "Hmm, pretty convenient how you're not dying, main characters."

They have puffins in Scotland? Puffins can FLY?

HB: "Dammit, you don't know anything about puffins!"

At Costco, choosing body wash.

Old Spice body wash: "The smell of a man that showers in the joyous tears of falcons while climbing up a mountain."
Syrup (to Father): "Get that one."

Watching "Nutcracker" ballet on television.

Father: "If I went to the ballet more often, I might be tempted to go gay. All those firm buttockses."